Lemon Meringue Pie (and Cream Cheese Pie Dough)

Lemon meringue takes some brass to bake, but it's worth both the bragging rights and the sense of accomplishment at pulling it off. It takes hours to make, so be sure to start it early. And don't be upset if your crust is bubbly, burny, cracked or otherwise not super awesome. I've baked a bunch of pies by now and I still haven't got mine perfect either, but this just seems to be a practice makes perfect kind of thing. :) Besides which, people will still eat your pie regardless of what you munged up with your crust. Hehehe. That said, let's kick some #@$ and chew bubblegum.

CREAM CHEESE PIE DOUGH (first for obvious reasons):
Reference: The Baker's Dozen Cookbook

Prep: 20 minutes or so Refrigerate: 1 1/2 hours total
Bake: 25 minutes total Oven: 400°


8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled and thinly sliced
4 ounces cream cheese, chilled, cut into pieces
1/2 teaspoon sugar
a pinch of salt
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

1. In the bowl of a heavy-duty mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute. Add the cream cheese and mix until well combined with the butter, about 1 minute. Beat in the sugar and salt. Add the flour and mix on low speed just until the dough holds together. It will literally start just globbing together, so keep an eye on it and you're golden. Do not overbeat it, as you don't want your crust too tough. Gather up the dough and squish/pat it into a thick disk-like shape.


2. Wrap the dough in wax paper or plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to overnight. If chilled until hard, let the dough stand at room temperature for about 10 minutes to soften slightly before rolling.

3. Sprinkle your work surface lightly with flour, then pull some David Carradine "Kung Fu" gestures to spread the flour in a thin layer. You don't want the dough sticking to the surface, and you'll need to toss some more flour on it a couple times probably, so keep your flour bag handy just in case. Pat some flour on the rolling pin. The trick to rolling it out is to concentrate most of your efforts on the middle part of your dough in short, firm rolls away from you, then rotate your dough disk on the surface and do short strokes with the pin up to an inch or so from the edge. Really try not to get to the edge, as this will make the edge tiny and weaka#$, which is needless to say undesirable. Our pie is hardcore or it GTFO. ;) Sprinkle more flour on the pin and your hands if needed. Relax.


4. When you've got it stretched out to about 11 inches (feel free to use a measuring tape -- I do, even though I get laughed at for bringing tools into the kitchen), fold it loosely in half, then quarter so that you can transfer it to a 9-inch pie pan without it stretching out and getting lame on you. Unfold it in the pie pan and let an inch of the crust hang over the pie edge, trim off excess with scissors. Tuck these bits under the edge of the pan and "flute" the pie edges if you want to be fancy (just elaborate pinching between your thumb and forefingers) or fork marks if that confuses you. It's all good. Prick the pie crust in the bottom edge of the inside of the pan with a fork gently as it will want to bubble when it bakes there. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

5. Position a rack in the bottom third of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees.


6. Remove the plastic wrap and line the pastry shell with aluminum foil, then fill with pie weights or 2 cups of beans or nuts. The point is to put something non-flammable on top of the foil to weigh down the crust to try to keep it from bubbling upwards whilst baking. I used almonds because I figured it would smell better than beans and might toast them, which is nom nom. Bake until the pastry seems set, about 15 minutes. Remove the foil and weights and continue baking until the crust is golden brown, about 10 more minutes. Transfer to a wire cooling rack and cool completely.

LEMON MERINGUE PIE (FILLING & MERINGUE)
Reference: The Baker's Dozen Cookbook

Filling:

1 1/4 cups sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
4 large eggs
4 large egg yolks (set aside the egg whites for meringue later -- yes 8 eggs total)
1 cup fresh lemon juice (3 - 7 lemons depending on the size of what you pick out)
2 tablespoons freshly grated lemon zest (zest lemons before juicing them)
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter, thinly sliced

Meringue:

1/4 cup water
1/2 cup superfine or granulated sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 cup egg whites (about 4 large) at room temperature.

Me straining lemon juice through sieve to get out pulp and seeds. Cleverness: I has it!

1. To make the filling, whisk the sugar and cornstarch in a medium bowl. Add the 4 eggs and the 4 separated egg yolks and whisk until pale yellow. Whisk in the juice, zest and salt. Add the butter. Transfer to a medium saucepan. 2. Cook, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon over medium heat until the mixture bubbles, then stir for another 30 seconds to be sure the filling reaches its optimum thickness. You'll know when -- just imagine the thickness of puddings like Handi-Snaks when you were younger and you'll get the basic idea. Thicker is better and trust your instincts. Whisk to smooth the filling. Strain through a wire sieve into a medium-sized bowl to remove any bits of cooked egg white. This is important. If your custard has bits of egg whites in it, it's going to be a bit crap. Wire sieves are great for this. I found a round one at a thrift store for fifty cents.

3. Pour the warm filling into the pie shell. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing the wrap directly onto the surface of the filling. Pierce a few slits in the wrap with the tip of a knife a few times to allow the steam to escape. Refrigerate until completely chilled and set, about 3 hours. Discard the plastic wrap.

4. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 375 degrees.
5. To make the meringue, pour the water into a small saucepan, add the cornstarch and whisk to dissolve. Now...me, I don't have a tiny whisk with which to whisk in a tiny saucepan, so I used a fork. Yes. A fork. And it worked just fine, really, assuming you have scratch-resistant pans. Whisk over medium-low heat until cooked into a thick, opaque and gooey paste. Set aside to cool.

The egg whites at the "foamy" stage. Lots of bubbles.

6. In a small bowl, mix the sugar and cream of tartar. In a medium bowl, or the bowl of a swank Kitchenaid mixing bowl like I'm lucky enough to be using, whip the egg whites you set aside earlier at low speed until foamy. If you get bored waiting and cheat, just turning the speed up a little...shhh. I won't tell. Our little secret. ;) Then increase the speed to medium-high. One tablespoon at a time, add the sugar mixture to the egg whites as you whip them to form soft peaks. Add the cooled cornstarch mixture and continue whipping to form stiff, shiny peaks. You will know if you've achieved the consistency of stiffy, shiny peaks if when you turn off the mixer, what is stuck to the attachment looks like well-formed vanilla ice cream from an ice cream machine at a parlor and it isn't dripping off. See: photo below.

7. Heap the meringue on the filling, spreading it with a spatula to touch the crust. Swirl the meringue into peaks, if desired. Bake until colored to a light gold, about 15 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let stand until completely cooled. The pie is best served the day of baking. Do not freeze -- custards don't like that. Refrigeration is okay.

Meringue pre-final baking! Observe the swirl. If I can do this, anyone can.

8. To serve, cut into wedges, using a thin, sharp knife dipped into hot water. Wipe off knife between cuts.



Currently Listening to: The Stranglers -- "Strange Little Girl"