Peach & Almond Crisp (Easy to make, Easy to prep.)

This recipe may not be the prettiest to look at. I'll be the first to admit that to you, friends, but....while she may not be pretty, she's a seriously tasty cobbler-ish crisp that will make your whole kitchen smell wonderful as well as have you sneaking back for seconds.

PEACH & ALMOND CRISP
Reference: "Better Homes & Gardens New Baking Book".

Prep: 30 minutes Bake: about 35 minutes, plus 15 for toasting almonds.
Oven: 350°F, then 400°F


6 - 8 cups sliced, peeled peaches or nectarines (I used peaches in nectar juice in jars, cheating -- if you do this, save the juice for a later step in the recipe.)
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup toasted sliced almonds
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter (1 stick), sliced and cut into little squares.
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 cup peach nectar or orange juice (see my above cheat-hint)
1/4 teaspoon almond extract* (*my special addition, mmmn mmn good)

1. To toast the sliced almonds, preheat the oven temp to 350°F. Lay the 1/2 cup sliced almonds on a sheet of parchment paper on a standard cookie sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Stir them halfway through if you're worried about your oven over-toasting them. Place the sheet on a wire cooling rack to cool. You can remove the almonds by lifting up the corners of the parchment paper for easy cleanup and transferring.

2. Turn the oven up to 400°F. For topping, in a medium mixing bowl stir together brown sugar, oats, almonds, 1/2 cup of the flour and the 3 tablespoons of granulated sugar. Using a pastry blender, cut in butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. If you don't have a pastry blender (I, the novice, cannot even tell you what this would look like -- one can only assume it vaguely resembles a Medieval torture device), I can tell you that using your hands and working the mixture with your fingers with squishing it and tossing it does the trick, too. Albeit, this method is not for weaklings whom are afraid of getting dirty. ;)

3. For filling, in a large mixing bowl stir together the remaining flour, the 1/3 cup granulated sugar, the cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and almond extract. Add the peach or nectarine slices along with their juices and peach nectar or orange juice. Toss gently to coat. Transfer filling to an ungreased 3-quart rectangular baking dish. Sprinkle topping over the filling.

4. Bake in a 400°F oven for 30-35 minutes or until peaches or nectarine slices are tender and the topping is golden. If desired, serve warm or at room temperature with ice cream.


Currently Listening: The Traveling Wilburys - "Handle With Care"

Banana & Pineapple Swirl Cupcakes (Delicious and fluffy, you cannot eat just one.)

Note: This recipe asks for your ingredients to be room temperature beforehand, so set aside the cream cheese, egg and stick of butter out an hour before you begin.

BANANA & PINEAPPLE SWIRL CUPCAKES
Reference: "Baking For All Occasions", Flo Braker.

Prep: 45 minutes or so Bake: about 23 minutes total
Oven: 350°F


Pineapple Swirl Filling:

One 8-ounce can of crushed pineapple
6 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1/4 teaspoon salt


Banana Cupcakes:

1 3/4 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup mashed ripe bananas (2 medium bananas or 3 small)
3 tablespoons whole milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
4 ounces (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg


1. Before baking, center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350°F. If you don't have paper muffin liners you can lightly coat a 12-cup standard muffin pan with nonstick spray, then flour the cups, tapping out the excess flour. I prefer to line the muffin pans with fluted paper or foil liners that you can buy at the store. Repeat with a second muffin pan, preparing only 3 cups and spacing them evenly around the pan. Spacing the cups promotes even baking when not all of the cups are filled.

2. To make the pineapple swirl filling, drain the pineapple in a sieve over a small bowl (see above). Press the pineapple against the sieve with the back of a spoon to release as much of the juice as possible. Drain the pineapple further on a few sheets of paper toweling. Discard the liquid.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or use a handheld mixer), beat the cream cheese on very low speed until smooth. Add the sugar and beat until the mixture is smooth. Add the egg and salt, mixing just until the ingredients are blended and creamy. Now go back to your pineapple bits in the paper towels and gently twist the paper towels areound the crushed pineapple to absorb any additional juice and then stir in 1/3 cup of the pineapple. You can save the remainder if you have any for another use. I myself had just the right amount. When you've made it (see below), you're going to need to scrape this filling out into a small bowl and wash out the mixing bowl and paddle as you'll soon need it for the banana cupcake part.

4. To make the banana cupcakes, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt onto a sheet of waxed paper or any other paper bit that you can gather a big wad of flour up with by picking it up by its corners and pour flour out of. I like to save my baking paper and use instead a brown paper sack like they give you at the grocery store. Ahh, the economy of the brownbag. ;) Now you put the mashed bananas into a medium bowl, add the milk and vanilla and mix together with a rubber spatula or pastry scraper (see below).

5. In the bowl of the stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter and sugar on medium speed until well blended, about 3 minutes. Beat in the egg just until incorporated. Add the banana mixture (it will look curdled at this stage but that's okay; it won't after you add the flour mixture so don't worry) and beat on medium-low speed until it is incorporated. On the lowest speed, add the flour mixture in two or three additions, mixing just until smooth and scraping down the sides of the mixing bowl after each addition.

6. Here's the down and dirty messy part. I couldn't take a picture of this cupcake batter debacle, because I like my digital camera with a little less food crusted on it, but I can assure you that whilst doing this step you ARE doing it right if your hands are sticky and covered with cupcake gunk. Shhh -- relax. You're a #^$%&* professional. Hahaha. Okay. Here we go. Get your tablespoon measuring spoon out and spoon 1 tablespoon of the cupcake batter into each prepared muffin cup, spoon 1 tablespoon of the pineapple filling over the batter and then top each with 2 more tablespoons of the banana batter. So it's like this: 1 tablespoon banana + 1 tablespoon pineapple + 2 tablespoons banana = cupcake. If your oven is wide enough, bake both muffin pans side by side, spacing them about 1 inch apart. If not, put the second pan on a rack in the upper third of the oven. Bake the cupcakes until they are golden and spring back without leaving an impression when gently pressed, 22 to 24 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool in the pan for 10 minutes.


Currently Listening: Soundtrack for "The Pianist" - Chopin's "Waltz no. 3 in a minor, Op. 34, no. 2"
Currently Reading: "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", Tucker Max.
"The Other Side of Desire", Daniel Bergner.

Summer Berry Tart (Kinda complex, but not as difficult as a meringue pie)

The recipe originally calls for a 9" pie pan with a removable bottom, but I didn't have one exactly like that so I improvised with my 9" springform pan. You can find springform pans (they have what looks like a buckle on the side) in well-stocked stores or luck out at a thrift store. Other kitchen utensils, like a silicone pastry brush and other gadgets, can occasionally be scored at the ubiquitous dollar stores. (Assuming you're in the United States.)

SUMMER BERRY TART (in a Sweet Tart Pastry with Pastry Cream)
Reference: The Baker's Dozen Cookbook

Prep: 45 minutes or so total Bake: 25 minutes total
Oven: 375°F at first, then 350°F Refrigeration: 2 hours, plus 30 minutes freezing

Sweet Tart Pastry Dough:

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, cool but not chilld, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
2 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of fine sea salt
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour


Pastry Cream:

1 cup milk
1 large egg plus 1 large egg yolk
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract


Summer Berry Tart:

2 pints strawberries, rinsed, dried and cut or 1 pint raspberries, blackberries or boysenberries
1/2 cup raspberry or strawberry jam or jelly or red currant jelly


1. First we'll make the pastry dough. In a medium bowl, using a hand-held electric mixer on medium-high speed or a swank Kitchenaid mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light in color and texture, about 2 minutes. Break the egg into a cup, mix it thoroughly with a fork, and measure 2 1/2 tablespoons; discard the remainder. Beat it in the bowl with the vanilla and salt just until blended. If you overmix, your dough is going to suck pretty hard, so don't go overboard. Scrape down the bowl with a pastry spatula. On low speed, add the flour all t once and mix just until the ingredients are moistened. Do not overmix.

2. Turn the dough out onto an unfloured work surface. Quickly finish combining the ingredients by smearing small amounts away from you. (See photo below.)

3. Using a bench knife or plastic scraper, scrape up the dough and gather it together. Form into a flat disk about 1/2 inch thick. Wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour. (The dough can be prepared up to a day ahead, wrapped and refrigerated. It can also be frozen, overwrapped with aluminum foil, for up to 2 months. Defrost the frozen dough overnight in the refrigerator, not at room temperature. If the dough is very hard and well chilled, let it stand at room temperature for about 10 minutes. Then pound the dough, vertically and horizontally, with the rolling pin until it is pliable but still cold.


4. While you're waiting for the dough to refrigerate, let's make the pastry cream. In a nonreactive medium saucepan, heat the milk over medium heat until bubbles form around the edges.

5. In a medium bowl, using a hand-held mixer on high speed or a whisk, beat the egg, yolk and sugar until thick and pale yellow. Beat in the flour. On low speed, gradually beat in about half of the hot milk. Pour the mixture into the saucepan.

6. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the pastry cream comes to a full boil -- as in stirring it doesn't make the bubbles that burble to the surface go away -- taking care that it doesn't scorch. Now this is tricky, TRULY stir this %#*% or you will have a burnt custard on your hands. You can't just walk off to go do something for a few minutes. But if you pay attention, it's fine.


7. Rub the pastry cream through a wire sieve into a medium bowl just like you would a custard you were making for a cream pie. Stir in the vanilla. Press plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the pastry cream and poke a few holes in the plastic so the steam can escape. Refrigerate until chilled, at least 2 hours. (The pastry cream can be prepared, covered and refrigerated for up to 1 week.)

8. After the refrigeration of the dough and pastry cream is done, we need to deal with the dough first. On a lightly floured work surface, roll out the dough into an 11 1/2-inch circle about 1/8 inch thick. Roll the pin in around the middle of the dough, push away from you a bit, avoid the edges of the dough and turn the dough, repeat the rolling movement. Just a few short, firm rolls with each turn, take your time. Gently lift the dough and center it in a 9-inch fluted tart pan with a removable bottom. OR....if you are like me and the only 9-inch pan with a removable bottom you own is a springform, then we'll be putting it in there. Ease the dough into the corners and press it gently into the pan. Trim the dough flush with the top of the pan if it reaches it. Press the dough against the sides of the pan so it barely rises over the edge. Prick the bottom well with a fork. Freeze until firm, at least 30 minutes or up to 2 hours.

9. Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 375°F.


10. Line the crust tightly with aluminum foil. Fill the shell with about 2 cups pie weights. This could be beans, but I experimented today and used coffee beans from a blend I thought was a bit disappointing. I figured it would make the house smell great even if it didn't work awesome. Well, it worked great, making this a rather crafty use of coffee beans that are stale or suck. Bake until the edges of the pastry are set and dry, about 15 minutes. Remove the foil and weights. Reduce the oven temperature to 350°F. Continue baking the pastry until it is golden brown, about 10 more minutes. If the dough bubbles up at any time, pierce the bubble with the tip of a fork. Transfer the tart to a wire cooling rack and cool completely.

11. Spread the pastry cream in the cooled shell. (If the pastry cream seems thick, whisk or stir it briskly to thin it.) Top with the berries, arranged in any way that suits you. Strawberries can be sliced and placed in overlapping concentric circles or left whole, or arrange the berries in different colored rings.

12. Heat the jam until simmering in a small saucepan. Strain to remove the solids if necessary. Brush the berries or drizzle with the warm jam. Serve immediately or within a few hours.


Currently Listening: Muse - "Supermassive Black Hole"

Cinnamon Bubble Buns (Moderate difficulty, takes time)

A new take on the traditional cinnamon rolls and buns. Delicious results!

CINNAMON BUBBLE BUNS
Reference: "Baking For All Occasions", Flo Braker.

Prep: 1 hour or so in total, but feels like forever. Bake: about 22 minutes
Oven: 350°F Rise: 1 hour, 40 minutes total

Note: The recipe originally calls for vanilla glaze frosting at the end, but I figured I was already pushing it as far as carbs and sugar goes. If, however, you want her recipe and instructions for the glaze, drop me a line. :)


Sour Cream Yeast Dough:

2 1/4 teaspoons (1 packet) active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water (100 to 110° F)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
2/3 cup sour cream
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus 1-2 tablespoons for kneading
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

Cinnamon-Sugar Coating:

1/3 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted


1. Sprinkle the yeast over the water in the bowl of a stand mixer; set aside for 5 -10 minutes until bubbly. Funny trick - blowing your breath on yeast will help it do its yeasty magic. Note: I never want to utter the phrase "yeasty magic" ever, ever again.

2. Add the butter, sour cream, sugar, egg and vanilla to the yeast mixture and stir to combine with a rubber spatula. Attach the bowl to the mixer and fit the mixer with the paddle attachment. Beat in 2 cups of the flour, the salt and the baking soda on medium-low speed until incorporated, 30 to 45 seconds. Add the remaining 1/2 cup of flour and beat until smooth, moderately soft dough forms. This part is cool, in that you think, "Oh no, the flour is sticking to the sides!" Just wait and watch, kemosabe -- the dough will cling to every bit of the flour.


3. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and knead until smooth and satiny, about 3 minutes. Now, here's the part in the recipe I goofed on yet seemed to still have delicious results, GO FIGURE. She says the dough will be sticky, yet you must only use 1-2 tablespoons of flour whilst kneading. I can tell you in all fairness that this could be crazy talk. Sure, it probably makes it Level 10 Baking Awesome, but Flo's recipes are a little bit perfectionist and I'm more the whole "Let's see what happens!" chaotic neutral kinda person. *cough* moving on, now.


4. Place the dough in a medium-sized bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place (at least 70° F) until doubled in size, about 1 hour. The dough is ready when a finger pressed gently into it leaves an indentation. Meanwhile, prepare the pan and make the Cinnamon-Sugar Coating when the rise time is almost up for you.

5. Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350° F. Lightly coat a 12-cup standard muffin pan with nonstick spray, then flour the cups, tapping out the excess flour. This is a handy step that will keep them from crapping out a bit and coming out of the pan easily later, so do it. It doesn't have to be perfect.

6. In a small bowl, stir together the sugar and cinnamon; set nearby. Place the melted butter in a small, shallow dish.

7. To shape the buns, gently punch the dough down to deflate it. Form it into a long cylinder (I rolled it out gently on my floured work surface with my hands until it resembled a long sausage), and divide it into 12 equal portions. This part I should have gotten our my measuring tape for, but my results were still fine, albeit I had muffins that were different sizes. No biggie. Using kitchen scissors, a small metal spatula, or a big-@$$ kitchen knife like I did -- have you ever tried to walk across a room with a large knife and NOT looked like a psycho? No one can do this -- divide each portion into 6 equal pieces, and then shape each piece into a ball by rubbing it between your palms.


8. One at a time, roll the balls first in the butter and then in the cinnamon sugar. Arrange 5 balls next to one another in a circle in the bottom of each prepared muffin cup and then, using a fingertip, poke the sixth ball down slightly in the center. Repeat with the remaining 11 dough portions. Loosely cover the buns with plastic wrap an set them aside in a warm place (about 70° F) until puffy and doubled in volume, about 40 minutes. The dough is ready to bake when a finger gently pressed into it leaves an indentation.


9. Bake the buns until golden, 20 - 22 minutes. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let cool for 5 to 8 minutes. Then tilt the pan and gently tap it on a counter to release the buns. If necessary, slip a knife blade between the pans and the bun to release. Transfer the buns to a wire rack. Me, I was able to pluck 'em right out of the pan with my fingers when they cooled and I KNOW I'm not special. ;) So I'm sure you won't have to do all that.



Currently listening: Jace Everett - "Bad Things"

Lemon Curd Squares (Easy, quick, yummy)

Warning: This recipe calls for a food processor or at least something you can make a crust with by chopping butter!

LEMON CURD SQUARES
Reference: "Williams-Sonoma Dessert"

Prep: 25 minutes or so Bake: about 42 minutes total
Oven: 350°F for crust, 325°F for filling.


Crust:

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces


Filling:

3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
pinch of salt
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
3 tablespoons heavy cream

optional: confectioners' powdered sugar for dusting. I found the recipe already extremely sweet, so I went without.


1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease an 8-inch square baking dish, preferably glass. I went with Pam nonstick cooking spray, however, as my lame oven will fill the kitchen with smoke if I dare to use real butter to grease any pans with.

2. In a food processor, combine the flour, sugar, salt and cinnamon. Pulse briefly until blended. Add the butter pieces and pulse until the dough forms moist crumbs and sticks together when pinched, about 1 minute. This sounds almost freakin' magically simple, but I was surprised that voila I have a crust that easily. You're flippin' kidding me, right? Awesome! Press the dough into the bottom and 1 inch up the sides of the prepared baking dish, lightly flouring your fingertips if necessary to prevent them from sticking. I tried this, and it wasn't spreading evenly enough, so I floured the bottom of a flat-bottomed drinking glass and pressed the crust with it. Worked like a charm.

3. Bake the crust until pale golden, 20 - 22 minutes. Let the crust cool completely on a rack. Reduce the oven temperature to 325°F.

4. To make the filling, whisk together the sugar, flour, salt and zest in a medium-sized bowl. Add the eggs, lemon juice and cream and whisk until just blended. Carefully pour the mixture over the baked and now-cooled crust.

5. Bake until the filling is set but jiggles just slightly when the dish is gently shaken, about 20 minutes, or longer if using a metal pan. Let cool on a rack for about 30 minutes. Run the tip of a small knife along the inside of the dish to loosen the crust from the sides, then let cool completely.

6. Cut into 12 small rectanges (Or a 4 x 4 grid if that makes more sense for you to visualize) and carefully remove from the dish with a spatula. Sift a dusting of confectioners' sugar over the rectangles just before serving if you're using it. Me, I took one look at all the sugar in this and knew it would be pretty darn sweet already. This turned out REALLY yummy, though. I just made it tonight. Quick and easy, and if you have a lemon or two sitting around unused waiting to go bad, this is an excellent use of it. :)




Currently Listening: Soft Cell - "Tainted Love" ;)

Black-Bottom Cupcakes! (Easy, delicious.)

I was given this recipe and it is not only extremely easy, the results are absolutely delicious.

BLACK-BOTTOM CUPCAKES

Prep: 10 minutes or so Bake: 25 - 30 minutes
Oven: 350°


Filling:

8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup sugar
1 egg
1/8 tsp salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (optional -- this made it super sweet, I'd go with a 1/2 to 3/4 cup next time.)

Cupcakes:

1.5 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup baking cocoa (unsweetened)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tbsp white vinegar
1 tsp vanilla extract

1. In a bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the sugar, egg and salt. Mix well. If you want it sweeter, fold in the chocolate chips (twirl your wrist while stirring them in, "folding" the chips in smooth and unhurried gestures over and under). This made it suuuper chocolatey and sweet, but I love the thick and surprising flavor of the cream cheese, so if you want the cream cheese filling to stand on its own more, then lower the chips you add accordingly.

2. For the cupcakes, in a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda and salt. Whisk these dry ingredients together or even just tossing them until they are blended with your fingertips is fine. Add the water, vegetable oil, white vinegar and vanilla extract. Mix well. Interesting note here: when buying vanilla extract, spring for the real stuff. The fake stuff can actually be bad for you.

3. Fill paper-lined muffin cups half-full with batter. Top each with about 2 tablespoons of your cream cheese filling.

4. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 - 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the non-cream cheese area of the cupcake comes out clean, as the cream cheese part will always stick to the toothpick thus not being a good indicator of when the cupcakes are done. Let cool for 10 minutes before removing the cupcakes and placing on wire cooling racks. Now, the center where the cream cheese is will sink into the muffin some and this is completely normal and a-okay.

Makes about 18 cupcakes at optimum yield.

Lemon Meringue Pie (and Cream Cheese Pie Dough)

Lemon meringue takes some brass to bake, but it's worth both the bragging rights and the sense of accomplishment at pulling it off. It takes hours to make, so be sure to start it early. And don't be upset if your crust is bubbly, burny, cracked or otherwise not super awesome. I've baked a bunch of pies by now and I still haven't got mine perfect either, but this just seems to be a practice makes perfect kind of thing. :) Besides which, people will still eat your pie regardless of what you munged up with your crust. Hehehe. That said, let's kick some #@$ and chew bubblegum.

CREAM CHEESE PIE DOUGH (first for obvious reasons):
Reference: The Baker's Dozen Cookbook

Prep: 20 minutes or so Refrigerate: 1 1/2 hours total
Bake: 25 minutes total Oven: 400°


8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled and thinly sliced
4 ounces cream cheese, chilled, cut into pieces
1/2 teaspoon sugar
a pinch of salt
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

1. In the bowl of a heavy-duty mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute. Add the cream cheese and mix until well combined with the butter, about 1 minute. Beat in the sugar and salt. Add the flour and mix on low speed just until the dough holds together. It will literally start just globbing together, so keep an eye on it and you're golden. Do not overbeat it, as you don't want your crust too tough. Gather up the dough and squish/pat it into a thick disk-like shape.


2. Wrap the dough in wax paper or plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to overnight. If chilled until hard, let the dough stand at room temperature for about 10 minutes to soften slightly before rolling.

3. Sprinkle your work surface lightly with flour, then pull some David Carradine "Kung Fu" gestures to spread the flour in a thin layer. You don't want the dough sticking to the surface, and you'll need to toss some more flour on it a couple times probably, so keep your flour bag handy just in case. Pat some flour on the rolling pin. The trick to rolling it out is to concentrate most of your efforts on the middle part of your dough in short, firm rolls away from you, then rotate your dough disk on the surface and do short strokes with the pin up to an inch or so from the edge. Really try not to get to the edge, as this will make the edge tiny and weaka#$, which is needless to say undesirable. Our pie is hardcore or it GTFO. ;) Sprinkle more flour on the pin and your hands if needed. Relax.


4. When you've got it stretched out to about 11 inches (feel free to use a measuring tape -- I do, even though I get laughed at for bringing tools into the kitchen), fold it loosely in half, then quarter so that you can transfer it to a 9-inch pie pan without it stretching out and getting lame on you. Unfold it in the pie pan and let an inch of the crust hang over the pie edge, trim off excess with scissors. Tuck these bits under the edge of the pan and "flute" the pie edges if you want to be fancy (just elaborate pinching between your thumb and forefingers) or fork marks if that confuses you. It's all good. Prick the pie crust in the bottom edge of the inside of the pan with a fork gently as it will want to bubble when it bakes there. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

5. Position a rack in the bottom third of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees.


6. Remove the plastic wrap and line the pastry shell with aluminum foil, then fill with pie weights or 2 cups of beans or nuts. The point is to put something non-flammable on top of the foil to weigh down the crust to try to keep it from bubbling upwards whilst baking. I used almonds because I figured it would smell better than beans and might toast them, which is nom nom. Bake until the pastry seems set, about 15 minutes. Remove the foil and weights and continue baking until the crust is golden brown, about 10 more minutes. Transfer to a wire cooling rack and cool completely.

LEMON MERINGUE PIE (FILLING & MERINGUE)
Reference: The Baker's Dozen Cookbook

Filling:

1 1/4 cups sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
4 large eggs
4 large egg yolks (set aside the egg whites for meringue later -- yes 8 eggs total)
1 cup fresh lemon juice (3 - 7 lemons depending on the size of what you pick out)
2 tablespoons freshly grated lemon zest (zest lemons before juicing them)
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter, thinly sliced

Meringue:

1/4 cup water
1/2 cup superfine or granulated sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 cup egg whites (about 4 large) at room temperature.

Me straining lemon juice through sieve to get out pulp and seeds. Cleverness: I has it!

1. To make the filling, whisk the sugar and cornstarch in a medium bowl. Add the 4 eggs and the 4 separated egg yolks and whisk until pale yellow. Whisk in the juice, zest and salt. Add the butter. Transfer to a medium saucepan. 2. Cook, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon over medium heat until the mixture bubbles, then stir for another 30 seconds to be sure the filling reaches its optimum thickness. You'll know when -- just imagine the thickness of puddings like Handi-Snaks when you were younger and you'll get the basic idea. Thicker is better and trust your instincts. Whisk to smooth the filling. Strain through a wire sieve into a medium-sized bowl to remove any bits of cooked egg white. This is important. If your custard has bits of egg whites in it, it's going to be a bit crap. Wire sieves are great for this. I found a round one at a thrift store for fifty cents.

3. Pour the warm filling into the pie shell. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing the wrap directly onto the surface of the filling. Pierce a few slits in the wrap with the tip of a knife a few times to allow the steam to escape. Refrigerate until completely chilled and set, about 3 hours. Discard the plastic wrap.

4. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 375 degrees.
5. To make the meringue, pour the water into a small saucepan, add the cornstarch and whisk to dissolve. Now...me, I don't have a tiny whisk with which to whisk in a tiny saucepan, so I used a fork. Yes. A fork. And it worked just fine, really, assuming you have scratch-resistant pans. Whisk over medium-low heat until cooked into a thick, opaque and gooey paste. Set aside to cool.

The egg whites at the "foamy" stage. Lots of bubbles.

6. In a small bowl, mix the sugar and cream of tartar. In a medium bowl, or the bowl of a swank Kitchenaid mixing bowl like I'm lucky enough to be using, whip the egg whites you set aside earlier at low speed until foamy. If you get bored waiting and cheat, just turning the speed up a little...shhh. I won't tell. Our little secret. ;) Then increase the speed to medium-high. One tablespoon at a time, add the sugar mixture to the egg whites as you whip them to form soft peaks. Add the cooled cornstarch mixture and continue whipping to form stiff, shiny peaks. You will know if you've achieved the consistency of stiffy, shiny peaks if when you turn off the mixer, what is stuck to the attachment looks like well-formed vanilla ice cream from an ice cream machine at a parlor and it isn't dripping off. See: photo below.

7. Heap the meringue on the filling, spreading it with a spatula to touch the crust. Swirl the meringue into peaks, if desired. Bake until colored to a light gold, about 15 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let stand until completely cooled. The pie is best served the day of baking. Do not freeze -- custards don't like that. Refrigeration is okay.

Meringue pre-final baking! Observe the swirl. If I can do this, anyone can.

8. To serve, cut into wedges, using a thin, sharp knife dipped into hot water. Wipe off knife between cuts.



Currently Listening to: The Stranglers -- "Strange Little Girl"

Egg Bread

This recipe is fun to make, not a crazy rise time considering it's a yeast bread, low in fat and yummy. You can make it a variety of ways and switch up the recipe as you see fit. It's basically a passover bread loaf (Challah) only less kosher. If you want to render it Challah-worthy, substitute the milk for 1 1/4 cups water and the butter for pareve margarine.

EGG BREAD AKA QUASI-KOSHER CHALLAH!

Prep: 45 minutes Rise: 1 1/2 hours total
Bake: 25-30 minutes Makes: 1 swank loaf
Oven: 375°


4 3/4 cups all-purpose flour or bread flour (I was low on all-purpose so did most with bread)
1 package active dry yeast (or 2 teaspoons)
1 1/3 cups milk
3 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons or more small seeds or nuts of your choosing. I used pine nuts.


1. In a large mixing bowl stir together 2 cups of the flour and the yeast; set aside. Me, I put them in the bowl of my kitchenaid standing mixer. In a medium saucepan heat and stir milk, sugar, butter and salt just until warm and butter almost melts. Add the milk mixture to your dry mixture along with the eggs. Beat it with your paddle attachment like I did, or use a handheld mixer and beat on low to medium speed for 30 seconds, stopping a couple times to scrape the sides of the bowl down. Then beat on high speed for 3 minutes. Using a wooden spoon, stir in 2 cups of flour or as much as you can.

2. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead in enough of the remaining flour to make a moderately stiff dough that is smooth and elastic (6 to 8 minutes total). You don't need to make it a workout, just relax and work the dough. Shape dough into a ball. Place in lightly grased large bowl, turning once to coat the bread dough ball's surface. Cover with some plastic wrap; let rise in a warm place until double in size (about 1 hour). Now...I live in Washington. And today was cold, the house takes a while to heat up. But you cannot have your dough rise in a cool place, it needs warmth. My trick is that my bedroom (or as I call it, "The Fortress of Solitude") is always warm. So I tucked it under my thick blankets on my bed and let it rise there. It was safe and warm enough. It worked, I recommend it if your house isn't easy to heat.



3. You will know if your bread is ready to rise if it looks like my awesome bed-ridden-risen bread as above AND if when you poke a finger about 1/3 of an inch into its surface that the indent stays. Then you take your dough and punch it down. This also has the maddeningly satisfying sensation of showing dough your haymaker so to speak. Epic! Divide the dough into thirds. Or, if you were me, you didn't read the right hand footnotes on the recipe until much later and ended up dividing the dough into two pieces. Both will work, but mine ended up like a twist. Cover them, loosely with a kitchen towel is fine. Let them rest for 10 minutes. Roll each third into an 18-inch-long rope. Place ropes on a greased large baking sheet 1 inch apart.


4. Now you will braid the ropes. Make sure you start your braid in the middle and do it loosely. If you braid it too tightly it will get all mucked up in the baking and it's gonna get ginormous, so let it be loosely braided. Start at the middle, work your way to the ends and pinch and tuck the braid ends under themselves a little. Cover the pan and loaf loosely and let it rise again in a warm place until nearly double, about 30 minutes. Brush the braid with 1 beaten egg yolk to coat the crust of the loaf. This is going to give it a nice golden brown color, make it shiny and give it oomph. Sprinkle the loaf with your seed of choice.



5. Bake in a 375 degree oven for 15 to 17 minutes, then cover loosely with foil for the last 10 minutes of baking. Remove from the pan and cool on wire racks.

New Ideas (Buttermilk Coffee Cake)

Gardening season has begun and besides tending my beds, what else have I been up to?

Baking. Or rather, learning how to bake. I quit smoking after years of cynical enthusiasm, so I needed something else to do with time that would otherwise be occupied by coating my lungs with a fine layer of delicious tar and carcinogens. Well, okay...and I love food. Hehe.

So besides the random posts and gardening photos, I will be posting recipes that have turned out well for me with a picture of how it turned out. If I can do it, anyone can. ;) I will also make tags, because in this economy using whatever is in the cupboard is awesome, but rifling through a recipe book trying to find something to make with buttermilk for instance is a huge pain in the tookus.

That said, let's rock. ;)

BUTTERMILK COFFEE CAKE
Reference: Better Home & Gardens New Baking Book w/ variation.

Prep: 30 minutes Bake: 35 minutes
Makes: 18 servings Oven: 350°


2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup butter or shortening
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 beaten eggs
1 1/3 cups buttermilk
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I used almonds)
1/4 teaspoon almond extract* (My special addition. It was an awesome idea.)


1. Grease the bottom and 1/2 inch up sides of a 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking pan; aside. In a large mixing bowl combine flour, brown sugar and salt. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. If this kind of confuses you, you can use a fork or just caveman it up and use your paws like I did. Set aside 1/2 of the cup crumb mixture, because you're gonna use it for topping later. Stir baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg into the remaining crumb mixture.

2. In a small mixing bowl combine eggs and buttermilk. Buttermilk smells like @$%, so you want to go ahead and John Wayne through this stage and just get it done. Add egg mixture once it's all mixed and light yellow to dry mixture, mix well. Last minute, add that almond extract. Man, this stuff will make your kitchen smell great and as an added bonus make it scrumdiddlyumptious. Spoon batter into the prepared pan. Stir together reserved crumb mixture and nuts. Sprinkle over batter. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 35 to 40 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Serve warm and expect it to be devoured within a day. It is easy to make and seriously good. :)


Currently listening to: Patti Smith - "Land: Horses/Land of a Thousand Dances/La Mer (de)"

Current reads: "The Mystery of Grace", Charles De Lint
"The Reader", Bernhard Schlink
"The Lives They Left Behind: Suitcases from a State Hospital Attic", Darby Penney